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June 2, 2012
Self Reflection.
It’s been something like two months since I last posted, and maybe half a year since I stopped posting consistently. So much has happened, I don’t know where to start.
This photo, though it might not be the best in terms of composition and innovation, is meaningful because of what I felt while taking it. We take photos because sometimes we don’t understand what we’re feeling when we do, or why it’s important. And it’s for this reason that people like me have to keep this “diary” of sorts; sometimes things move too fast for me to comprehend enough of it. And then again, how much is “enough”?
After I put on my clothes for Prom at Ki’s house in the guest room, waiting for people to show up, I had a moment to kind of soak in everything that was happening. I’m graduating in 7 days. This night could be the last I spend with some of these people, at least in the same way. It felt like some kind of end intertwined with a beginning, but that’s what graduation is, right?
Throughout these past few months, I’ve learned to appreciate all that I have, had my values tested, and was taught to hold steadfast in the face of disappointment. I’ve experienced the epitome of teamwork, and hard work paying off. I’ve even said final goodbyes to some people, unless life brings us together again. However, just because everything feels under control and okay now, doesn’t mean it’s over; this is just one high point, and I know there are many more ripples to go through.
As I picked up my camera for the first time in many months, this was the first shot I took. Hopefully it is the first of many more to come, because as I sit here the day after Prom, I can’t believe I had forgotten the reason I take photos, and the reason they are so meaningful to me.
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ginaleee asked: I find you writing and taking pictures daily very inspiring. C: Keep it up! I really enjoy reading a lot of them. The voice sounds very genuine!
Thank you! Unfortunately I kinda stopped back in like December haha I’ve been posting kind of randomly since then, which I’ve been meaning to change, but also have decided to just kind of let it go like that until summer. Recently a lot of things have been on my mind rather than posted, but I can try to change that!
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April 11, 2012
Things didn’t turn out the way I expected them to. I didn’t think that I’d be pushed into this corner, and having to get out, or being lost and wondering what to believe in anymore. Sometimes I tell myself to keep on pushing, and sometimes I tell myself to just give it up — it’s not worth it anymore.
Other than that personal conflict that nobody reading this will really understand, life has been strange to me these past weeks. I’ve been resetting myself and trying to find new goals and have been constantly wondering what I want to do in the future, as it would dictate what I should be doing now. I feel like I’m growing up, and, for the first time, that this is a good thing.
Re-edited Casey’s photo from back in October when I posted it on the day I went to the Ballard Locks for the State Photo Contest. Hopefully it does well.
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April 5, 2012
Went down to Seattle early in the morning to go see the Gauguin exhibit at SAM. Pretty interesting. I think I would’ve been more inspired if it were less tropic and more urban themed work, but cool nonetheless. Went to P.F. Chang’s after, and that kind of sucked. Expensive and small portions (though the atmosphere was pretty good).
Afterwards went to go do some archery on a whim with Ki all the way down in Puyallup, and then got lost on the way back. Went to Five Guys for dinner, and now I’m back here.
This photo was taken today, but I really don’t know how to edit it… it’s pretty challenging. This is what I’ve got now; I’ll probably edit it again tomorrow morning, or just give up altogether (it’s not that great of a photo to begin with anyway). When I took it, it was dark on the left and light on the right, but I wondered what it would be like if I flipped it. This is what I got… not sure if it’s any good or not though.
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“There are things for me to see out there. Obstacles to overcome, moments that will bring great happiness, people to meet and let go of, and, most of all, experiences I’ll have to learn to embrace”
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March 25, 2012
Climbed something like 70 flights of stairs to get to the top of this thing. Considering it was my first exercise since last year’s Big Climb, I didn’t do too hot. But the experience, company, and work out was worth it. I don’t think I’ll be doing it again, but we’ll see in a week where I’ll be going in college. I can only wonder what this week has in store for me.
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March 24, 2011
Starting to feel like Spring!
Finally some sunshine and nicer weather, with Spring Break coming in a week. Snapped this shot yesterday when it was also nice around my neighborhood.
Lots of college decisions this week, so I’m trying to chill more in order to brace myself from getting my dreams crushed.
Big Climb tomorrow — the first exercise I’ll have done in over a year, which was at the last Big Climb haha
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“Excuse me sir, but no photography is allowed in the theater”
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March 23, 2011
Yesterday/Today I went to the Paramount Theater to watch Mamma Mia, which wasn’t that fun besides some songs, and then the Hunger Games premiere with my brother and Ki. Got told to put my camera away twice, but snapped two very nice photos.
Waitlisted at UChicago. Pretty disappointed, but more about what this signifies for next week. I was thinking of this decision as a test, to see where I stand in a similarly competitive pool/selective school. I really don’t know what lies in store for me next week, but if I could just get ONE acceptance, it would make my senior year. Only one way to find out.
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March 18, 2011
Mom’s birthday. Lens flipped around to make a poor man’s macro.
Went to a buffet for dinner, and they had a ton of crab, lobster, and crawfish. Ate enough seafood to last me a while. While I was looking around for some more food, I saw this old guy with a cane getting a ton of crawfish and picking through the bin to get the best ones. He was there for a good ten minutes at least, until his plate was loaded with them. I’m not sure why that stuck into my memory — I think it’s just one of those moments that made me feel something in a good way, though I can’t explain it.
Not sure what I’m doing with this project still. I’m hoping I can do a photo alphabet scavenger hunt one of these days in Seattle if I can borrow a camera from school to test out my new lens. And I really want to do an 80 days of summer once break rolls around.
Right now I’m in that dreadful wait until college decisions come out. I’ve kind of resigned myself to the fact that I will be disappointed, but it’s allowed me to look ahead into new goals. However, I’m not the kind that just gives up, so there’s a lot of me that’s still hoping for some good news.
It feels like yesterday I was killing myself over the fact that it would be so long until decisions came out and applications were over. And now it’s just around the corner.
